Divorce has the ability to bring out intense emotions, perhaps especially if parents disagree about custody, parenting time, finances and/or the circumstances surrounding their separation. However, when one or both parents have a history of truly volatile behavior, the court must consider the arrangement that will give the affected children the safest and most stable environment.
Family courts usually do not approach these cases as a contest over which parent behaved worse during the marriage. Therefore, a parent’s anger, confrontational behavior, threats or inability to control emotions during the process itself can become relevant when those actions affect the children and/or interfere with a need to engage in responsible parenting approaches.
The court focuses on the children’s best interests
A contentious divorce does not automatically make either parent unfit. Judges understand that separation can involve many emotional reactions. What matters more is whether a parent’s behavior creates a pattern that threatens a child’s physical safety, emotional well-being or stability.
Courts may consider factors such as:
- Each parent’s conduct
- The child’s relationship with each parent
- Caregiving history
- The stability of each household
- Any history of abuse or neglect
The difference between ordinary marital conflict and harmful conduct can be significant. Two parents who occasionally argue are in a very different position from parents who repeatedly scream at each other during custody exchanges, make threats, damage property, involve the children in disputes or become physically aggressive.
Children should not become part of the fight
One of the greatest concerns in a high-conflict divorce is that children can become absorbed into a dispute they did not create. A child should not have to determine which parent is telling the truth, report on what happens in the other household or feel responsible for keeping one parent happy.
Courts handling these cases generally seek an arrangement that protects the child’s safety while providing as much consistency and healthy parental involvement as the circumstances permit.
Thankfully, a legal practitioner with experience in family law can evaluate specific conduct at issue and the applicable custody standards – in order to craft a reasonable way forward – when a volatile co-parenting situation needs to be addressed.