Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLCLaemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC2026-08-22T13:42:34Zhttps://www.laemerslaw.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1504409/2020/03/cropped-ID-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[How courts treat volatile parents when they divorce]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477732026-08-22T13:42:34Z2026-08-22T13:42:34ZThe court focuses on the children's best interests
A contentious divorce does not automatically make either parent unfit. Judges understand that separation can involve many emotional reactions. What matters more is whether a parent's behavior creates a pattern that threatens a child's physical safety, emotional well-being or stability.
Courts may consider factors such as:
Each parent's conduct
The child's relationship with each parent
Caregiving history
The stability of each household
Any history of abuse or neglect
The difference between ordinary marital conflict and harmful conduct can be significant. Two parents who occasionally argue are in a very different position from parents who repeatedly scream at each other during custody exchanges, make threats, damage property, involve the children in disputes or become physically aggressive.
Children should not become part of the fight
One of the greatest concerns in a high-conflict divorce is that children can become absorbed into a dispute they did not create. A child should not have to determine which parent is telling the truth, report on what happens in the other household or feel responsible for keeping one parent happy.
Courts handling these cases generally seek an arrangement that protects the child's safety while providing as much consistency and healthy parental involvement as the circumstances permit.
Thankfully, a legal practitioner with experience in family law can evaluate specific conduct at issue and the applicable custody standards – in order to craft a reasonable way forward – when a volatile co-parenting situation needs to be addressed.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Limited parenting time doesn’t have to limit school involvement]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477692026-08-02T14:50:59Z2026-08-02T14:50:59ZMeet the adults who will be guiding your child at school
If you can, introduce yourself to your child’s teacher(s), coaches, extracurricular advisors and counselors as early as possible. If you can’t do it in person, see if you can schedule video calls or at least communicate via text or email.
Be sure they have your phone number and other contact information. Let them know that you want to be included on all communications regarding your child.
Be sure the school has your current information
Teachers and others can be hesitant about contacting divorced parents if they aren’t certain about the custody arrangements. That’s why it’s crucial that the school administrators have all the information they need to include you in parent-teacher conferences (even if you can only be there virtually) and school events as well as any communications regarding assignments, grades and disciplinary matters. Often, there’s an online parent portal you can access to get information.
Talk with your child about school
It’s important for your child to know that you’re interested in what’s going on at school and how they’re doing. Focus on the positive as well as any areas where may need to improve. Children typically do better in school when both parents are interested and involved
It can help for you and your co-parent to codify your responsibilities to your child and each other regarding school in your parenting plan. Having experienced legal guidance will help you create or modify your plan to help ensure that you are able to provide consistent support without preventable complications and misunderstandings inspiring unnecessary tension.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Fairly addressing credit card debt during divorce]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477682026-07-20T23:44:57Z2026-07-20T23:44:57ZEvaluating debts carefully
In some cases, spouses may have entered the marriage with pre-existing financial obligations. Those debts may remain their separate responsibility if they divorce. Most of the time, debts taken on during a marriage are part of the marital estate, even if the financial account is only in the name of one spouse. However, there are sometimes exceptions to this rule.
If either spouse intentionally hid their financial behaviors from the other and accrued debt while engaging in behaviors that damage the marital relationship, such as funding substance abuse, gambling or conducting an affair, the courts may agree that those debts constitute dissipation of marital property and may not necessarily be part of the marital estate. Similarly, excessive spending in the weeks leading up to a divorce filing or immediately after a divorce filing could also constitute dissipation.
Divorcing individuals often need financial guidance as they review financial records to determine what assets and debts are divisible. Consulting with a lawyer familiar with the laws and prior rulings that influence financial determinations during divorce can help people identify what debts they may need to help pay and what debts they can exclude from the property division process.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Do you and your co-parent need a shared expense tracker?]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477672026-07-07T20:10:19Z2026-07-07T20:10:19ZCo-parenting requires much more than coordinating parenting time. Parents often also share responsibility for many child-related expenses, including medical bills, school supplies, extracurricular activities, clothing and childcare.
When reimbursement requests are handled through text messages, emails or handwritten notes, misunderstandings can quickly arise. Using a shared expense tracker can help keep everyone organized and reduce any risks of unnecessary conflict.
Why make this effort?
A centralized system allows both parents to record expenses, upload receipts and monitor reimbursement requests in one place. Instead of searching through months of text messages to determine whether an expense was paid, both parents have access to the same information. This transparency can reduce disagreements and encourage greater accountability.One popular option is OurFamilyWizard, a co-parenting platform designed to help parents communicate and manage shared responsibilities. In addition to its messaging and scheduling features, the platform includes an expense log where parents can document child-related costs, attach receipts, allocate payment responsibilities and track reimbursements. A shared expense tracker is often particularly useful when parenting plans require parents to divide uninsured medical expenses, extracurricular fees, school costs or other agreed-upon expenditures. Rather than relying on memory, each expense can be documented as it occurs, creating a clear record for both households.Using a shared tracking system may also reduce the emotional tension that sometimes accompanies reimbursement requests. Instead of repeatedly asking whether a payment has been made, parents can simply review the shared records. When financial expectations are clear, co-parenting often becomes more productive. Organized recordkeeping helps reduce misunderstandings, encourages timely reimbursements and allows parents to devote more energy to supporting their children instead of resolving accounting disputes.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Domestic violence victims: Contacting an attorney safely ]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477662026-06-25T14:29:44Z2026-06-25T14:29:44ZFor many victims of domestic violence, contacting an attorney is an important step toward protecting themselves and their children. Unfortunately, it can also be a difficult step when an abusive partner closely monitors phone calls, text messages, emails, social media accounts or internet activity. Thinking about safety before reaching out for legal help can reduce the risk of retaliation and help preserve privacy.
To that end, if you are in danger, make sure that you wipe your browser’s history after reading this post.
Reaching out safely
If possible, use a device to make contact that an abusive person cannot access. A trusted friend's phone, a work computer, a public library computer or another secure device may provide a safer way to research attorneys and schedule consultations. Be aware that shared devices may store browsing history, saved passwords and other information that could reveal your plans.Also, don’t overlook location-sharing services. Smartphones, vehicle apps, family tracking applications and social media platforms may disclose a person's whereabouts. Reviewing privacy settings and disabling unnecessary location sharing can help reduce the risk of being monitored.Consider creating a new email account that the abusive individual at issue does not know about. Use a strong password and avoid saving login information on shared devices. When communicating with an attorney, let the law firm know the safest way to contact you and whether voicemail messages, text messages or emails are safe to send.Some victims choose to contact an attorney while the other party is at work, traveling or otherwise unable to monitor their activities. Others prefer to arrange meetings in locations that will not raise suspicion.Most importantly, do not take unnecessary risks. Every domestic violence situation is different, and what is safe for one person may not be safe for another. Seeking legal guidance is important, but only when done so safely. ]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[What surprises people most about how marital property is divided?]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477632026-06-16T19:07:34Z2026-06-16T19:07:34Zthe prevailing circumstances.
Separate property can become marital property
Inheritances, gifts and premarital property are generally not subject to division in a divorce. However, if personal property is blended with marital property in a way that makes it difficult to distinguish between the two, its separate status may be lost. This often happens when inherited funds are deposited into a joint account, a premarital asset is used for shared marital purposes or separate property is improved or maintained using marital funds.
Asset values are not static
The valuation date assigned to assets such as retirement accounts, investment portfolios, business interests or real estate can significantly affect the final distribution, particularly when values fluctuate over time.
For example, a retirement account may be worth substantially more or less by the time the divorce is finalized than it was when the case was filed. Similarly, changes in the housing market can dramatically alter the value of a marital home. It can be a friction point if not properly addressed.
Debt is also part of the equation
People often focus on assets and overlook liabilities. Credit cards, loans and other debts incurred during the marriage are typically subject to division as well, even if only one spouse actively used them. It’s something you should have your eyes on to protect your interests.
Property division rarely unfolds the way people expect, and the surprises tend to be costly ones. Having the right legal support can mean the difference between walking away with what you're entitled to and leaving far too much on the table.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Is divorce mediation a binding process?]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477622026-06-03T17:48:04Z2026-06-03T17:48:04ZMediation itself is not binding
Mediation is substantially different from arbitration. The neutral professional hearing the dispute does not make a decision about who is right or what resolution to the disagreement is most appropriate. Their function is to facilitate communication and compromise.
The spouses mediating their divorce disagreements are the ones who must reach an agreement with one another. If they fail to do so, they can either continue the mediation process at another session or agree to litigate because they cannot resolve their disputes amicably.
Mediation only becomes binding once spouses have agreed on terms and signed a document committing them to uphold those terms. Either spouse has the power to walk away from mediation at any point. That being said, even if it takes multiple sessions, successfully meeting a divorce can help people control costs and limit the uncertainty that comes with a litigated divorce.
Discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of divorce mediation with a skilled legal team can empower spouses in what can be a frustrating process. Provided that both spouses approach mediation in good faith, they may be able to reach an agreement that ultimately protects them from the expense and stress of divorce litigation.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Can your work-life balance cause a divorce?]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477592026-05-19T16:32:53Z2026-05-19T16:32:53ZA lack of work-life balance can make a divorce more likely. For instance, one study looked at individuals who qualified as “workaholics.” It found that the odds of divorce were far higher in these relationships. If just one spouse worked too much, it was more likely that the couple would get divorced than when both spouses had more balance in their lives.People often work too much because they are focused on financial gain and creating stability for their family. In this sense, they may think they are working to help avoid divorce and prevent these complications. But the reality is that overworking can cause their romantic relationship to break down.
The impact of a long commute
In fact, you can even see this when you look at the distance that a person has to commute. If the commute is greater than 45 minutes, the odds of divorce go up by about 40%.It is not that commuting itself is problematic, but simply that this means the couple has far less time to spend together. In addition to putting in hours at work, one person is spending a significant amount of every day on the road. A couple may be able to function this way for a while, but the cumulative toll on the marriage can cause it to break down over time.
Navigating a divorce
Do you feel that you and your spouse are moving toward a divorce, perhaps because of issues with your work-life balance? If so, you need to know exactly what steps to take when addressing property division, child custody and related issues.
]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[How a journal can help those leaving an abusive partner]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477532026-05-02T23:36:21Z2026-05-02T23:36:21ZHow a journal helps
Written records maintained by the victim of domestic violence can help prove there has been a pattern of inappropriate physical abuse. Those experiencing domestic violence should record all of the key details about individual incidents.
The time, date, location and exact conduct of the other party are all relevant details. If possible, taking pictures of injuries or damage to property with a mobile phone can help as well. In some cases, neighbors or even coworkers who see signs of injuries the next day can help corroborate specific incidents. Thorough records can help establish that a person requires a restraining order or that enough misconduct has occurred to warrant the prosecution of the abusive party.
Consulting with an attorney familiar with domestic violence cases can help people gather the documentation they need and navigate the court proceedings necessary to secure a restraining order. People who can prove the abuse that they’ve endured can hold abusers accountable and leave to seek a safer environment.]]>On Behalf of Laemers, Murphy & Neggia, LLC<![CDATA[Navigating shared custody over summer vacation in the Newton area]]>https://www.laemerslaw.com/?p=477522026-05-02T13:07:40Z2026-05-02T13:07:40Zvery damaging for children in shared custody scenarios.
How can parents address the unique challenges of summer vacation without worsening their dynamic with one another?
Communication is key to cooperation
Typically, parents need to abide by the overall custody schedule during summer vacation. However, vacation plans and holiday get-togethers may necessitate adjustments to the standard schedule.
Ideally, parents can make arrangements for any vacations or travel during their own parenting time. In some cases, they may need to modify the custody schedule.
Communicating directly with a co-parent in writing about vacation or travel plans as far in advance as possible and offering makeup parenting time before or after the trip can often facilitate a mutual agreement. Typically, parents do not need actual consent from one another to travel within New Jersey unless they must adjust their custody schedule.
Some custody orders include clauses that mandate prior approval for out-of-state travel. Parents may need to discuss their plans to go to a theme park in Florida or visit family members in Wisconsin in advance to secure the permission of the other parent and handle any necessary logistics.
In cases involving plans for international travel, pre-approval from the other parent is universally necessary. Parents may also need to discuss plans for child care with one another if they cannot be physically present with the children during their parenting time. Having specific communication rules for parents and for when children spend extended periods with either parent can be helpful.
Planning in advance for the predictable child custody challenges that arise during summer vacation from school can help parents minimize conflict and work to better ensure that the summer is a time of enjoyable memory-making for the entire family. Travel plans, childcare and other custody issues may require consideration before they turn into sources of parental conflict, and that’s okay.]]>