Shared custody during the school year is often relatively straightforward. The school day can serve as a buffer, limiting the need for child care and possibly even interactions between parents. While school can create its own set of complications in the form of special events and extracurricular activities, the family can typically enjoy a predictable custody arrangement throughout the school year.
The extended summer vacation from school can quickly complicate a previously workable custody schedule. Issues with child care and even travel plans can lead to disputes between parents. Conflict and negative talk about the other parents can both be very damaging for children in shared custody scenarios.
How can parents address the unique challenges of summer vacation without worsening their dynamic with one another?
Communication is key to cooperation
Typically, parents need to abide by the overall custody schedule during summer vacation. However, vacation plans and holiday get-togethers may necessitate adjustments to the standard schedule.
Ideally, parents can make arrangements for any vacations or travel during their own parenting time. In some cases, they may need to modify the custody schedule.
Communicating directly with a co-parent in writing about vacation or travel plans as far in advance as possible and offering makeup parenting time before or after the trip can often facilitate a mutual agreement. Typically, parents do not need actual consent from one another to travel within New Jersey unless they must adjust their custody schedule.
Some custody orders include clauses that mandate prior approval for out-of-state travel. Parents may need to discuss their plans to go to a theme park in Florida or visit family members in Wisconsin in advance to secure the permission of the other parent and handle any necessary logistics.
In cases involving plans for international travel, pre-approval from the other parent is universally necessary. Parents may also need to discuss plans for child care with one another if they cannot be physically present with the children during their parenting time. Having specific communication rules for parents and for when children spend extended periods with either parent can be helpful.
Planning in advance for the predictable child custody challenges that arise during summer vacation from school can help parents minimize conflict and work to better ensure that the summer is a time of enjoyable memory-making for the entire family. Travel plans, childcare and other custody issues may require consideration before they turn into sources of parental conflict, and that’s okay.