One of the most difficult parts of co-parenting may be dealing with your co-parent. The fact that you are co-parents, rather than a couple, often means there have been issues between you that may still linger.
The following tips can be useful to bear in mind if communication between you is challenging:
1. Pick a good time
When you need to discuss something related to your child, ask if it is a good time for the other parent. Don’t just launch into a monologue or question as if it is the wrong time for them, you are less likely to get a favorable answer and more likely to get one that upsets you.
However much your co-parent might also like to discuss the particular topic, they might have something else they need to do urgently, such as get to work. Or, they might not be in a good headspace for such a discussion right now due to a poor night’s sleep.
Scheduling a time to talk about things ahead of time is often best for both parties.
2. Stick to the topic
If you need to discuss a particular topic, then stick to that. Don’t let the conversation get dragged off course into recriminations or accusations. Try to stay future-focused, rather than returning to the past which you cannot change.
3. Be prepared to listen
One of the biggest problems in any kind of communication is when one or both parties fail to listen to the other. If you do not listen, you cannot hope to understand where the other person is coming from, or why they might be insisting on a certain thing or behaving in a certain way.
It’s not just listening skills, but empathy that will really improve your communication. Accept that what the other person is saying may have some validity and you might not always be right. Or at least that it may make perfect sense to them, rather than just being something they are doing to antagonize you.
If the communication is not happening as you hope and making co-parenting difficult it may be time to get help to revisit your parenting plan.